Thursday, August 29, 2013
Mind goes blank
Recently my nights are either spent watching TV, or letting my mind goes blank. Somehow when I had no time, there was so much I wanted to do, yet now when I have more time, there is nothing I want to do. All I want to do is to sit and do nothing. Then again, that's probably because I've already done the things I want to do. Or perhaps I just enjoy stoning.
Monday, August 26, 2013
New Blog
These couple of days, I've been thinking about starting a diary. Something that can be left behind if I ever pass on. Then again, with technology this day and time, it seems more apt that I share my thoughts in an electronic format. Perhaps I will still keep a diary for more private purposes, but a new blog would be a good avenue for me to share links and perhaps thoughts that are not-so-private.
As I move on into adult life, settling into reality that I will never be a student again, a lot of things have changed. It is strange how perspectives can be shaped by so many factors around you. A couple of years back, I was still an ambitious young student, wanting many things in life. A good career, time to do my own things (such as playing PS 3), enough money to own a car.. The list goes on. Yet with just a couple of years, and a few significant events in life, my perceptions have changed such that there are really only a handful things which I really want:
1. More time to be spent with my family
2. A lifelong partner
3. A good career
Considering that I am rather happy with my job right now, I'd say I'll be happy just maintaining status quo for number 3.
Number 1 is something which most people already know. Yet with each passing event that reminds you that the time you have with your family is limited, the desire for more time to be spent with your family seems to increase, such that there is never enough time. And when these events quietly slip into the memories lost in time, the desire dies down, and we forget that time is limited, till the next event occurs. It is hence important that one reminds himself of the need to spend more time with family. Having encountered a couple of events in the past years have really made me realise my desire to be with my family. I am thankful that I still have time, and I have a strong desire and need to spend the best quality time with my family.
It may be ironic, but my desire to seek a lifelong partner is even stronger than my desire to spend more time with my family. I guess it is due to the fact that I have at the very least, spent time with my family, whereas I am still much lacking in option 2. The most ironic thing is that no matter how hard you may try in this, it may never ever work out the way you want it to. Interestingly, there were some shares on facebook regarding having serious relationships in the 20s. In essence, the article states that it is important to start giving time to serious relationships, as we have finite time, and even if relationships do fail, we do need the practice.
The article is at this link: https://medium.com/architecting-a-life/cff4161f551c
I couldn't agree more. Yet I am unable to step out of that comfort zone and make the first move. All the what-ifs come into mind, and the fear of rejection, ever so real. The dilemma of keeping a good friend as a good friend or risk losing the friend due to a failed attempt at moving your relationship beyond being a friend is something which I cannot make up my mind on. If there's one thing I'm absolutely bad at, this must be it. A usually optimistic person, I'm downright pessimistic when it comes to this, and I know next to nothing about relationships, how to talk to girls, or read any signs from them, let alone have the guts to ask them out.
This is life. The one thing which you wish for the most is likely to be the one which you're worst at. Life will make you fight the hardest for the things you wish for. Perhaps only then, will the reward feel the sweetest.
As I move on into adult life, settling into reality that I will never be a student again, a lot of things have changed. It is strange how perspectives can be shaped by so many factors around you. A couple of years back, I was still an ambitious young student, wanting many things in life. A good career, time to do my own things (such as playing PS 3), enough money to own a car.. The list goes on. Yet with just a couple of years, and a few significant events in life, my perceptions have changed such that there are really only a handful things which I really want:
1. More time to be spent with my family
2. A lifelong partner
3. A good career
Considering that I am rather happy with my job right now, I'd say I'll be happy just maintaining status quo for number 3.
Number 1 is something which most people already know. Yet with each passing event that reminds you that the time you have with your family is limited, the desire for more time to be spent with your family seems to increase, such that there is never enough time. And when these events quietly slip into the memories lost in time, the desire dies down, and we forget that time is limited, till the next event occurs. It is hence important that one reminds himself of the need to spend more time with family. Having encountered a couple of events in the past years have really made me realise my desire to be with my family. I am thankful that I still have time, and I have a strong desire and need to spend the best quality time with my family.
It may be ironic, but my desire to seek a lifelong partner is even stronger than my desire to spend more time with my family. I guess it is due to the fact that I have at the very least, spent time with my family, whereas I am still much lacking in option 2. The most ironic thing is that no matter how hard you may try in this, it may never ever work out the way you want it to. Interestingly, there were some shares on facebook regarding having serious relationships in the 20s. In essence, the article states that it is important to start giving time to serious relationships, as we have finite time, and even if relationships do fail, we do need the practice.
The article is at this link: https://medium.com/architecting-a-life/cff4161f551c
I couldn't agree more. Yet I am unable to step out of that comfort zone and make the first move. All the what-ifs come into mind, and the fear of rejection, ever so real. The dilemma of keeping a good friend as a good friend or risk losing the friend due to a failed attempt at moving your relationship beyond being a friend is something which I cannot make up my mind on. If there's one thing I'm absolutely bad at, this must be it. A usually optimistic person, I'm downright pessimistic when it comes to this, and I know next to nothing about relationships, how to talk to girls, or read any signs from them, let alone have the guts to ask them out.
This is life. The one thing which you wish for the most is likely to be the one which you're worst at. Life will make you fight the hardest for the things you wish for. Perhaps only then, will the reward feel the sweetest.
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